


warm blood, body

by Kju (kuj)



Series: battleborn: alex shepard [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, OC Shepard, Scars, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 20:05:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8910208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuj/pseuds/Kju
Summary: Liara knows tattoos are a universal concept.An exploration of my own Shep's scars, tattoos, clumsily conducted by one Dr. Liara T'soni. Set during ME1, just before Ilos, but without the sex.





	

In her travels across the galaxy, over different star systems and even uncharted planets, Liara T'soni has seen many wondrous and strange things. Flourishing colonies of unfamiliar species, plants that could clone and communicate and kill, her own mother ordering an asari commando unit against her. 

Liara, in Joker's words in the mess one evening, has 'seen some shit' in her time aboard the Normandy. Despite the crass vernacular, Liara has to agree. 

She's been on the Normandy for a total of two months now, and more has happened in that small space of time than it had in a near-century tracking the artifacts and history a dead star-faring species. As a scholar, Liara values the experience and the learning she could collect as a member of a ship's crew. But as a normal, functioning asari, Liara had feared for her life and her sanity on more than one occasion. 

Such was the norm when travelling with Commander Shepard, it seemed.

The commander herself was the greatest mystery to Liara. She was a soldier, like many Liara had seen- tough, unyielding, stiff and serious. She was young, too, especially for a human, and yet, she had achieved and survived so much. It made little sense to Liara, how the commander could come so close to death so many times and still be so ready throw herself into gunfire at every possible hostile situation. 

It made her tired to think of the rationality the commander seemed to abandon in every mission they took. So many of the commander's traits were in juxtaposition with each other: a strategist, but reckless; kind, but tough; a paragon, a renegade. Liara couldn't make odds or ends of the Normandy's commanding officer. 

Still, in the two months she had been on board, and in the future, Liara endeavored to continue to try.

At present, Liara was sitting at the mess table, poring over datapads in the relative silence of the Normandy during its' scheduled Earth night cycle. This was the only time she could really use the mess area, so she relished the quiet.

Liara enjoyed studying the crew, but she didn't enjoy socialising as much as they seemed- particularly the human crew, who were eager to ask Liara questions about the asari and Protheans once they got over their initial distrust of yet another alien aboard their ship.

And so, she sat, trying once again to determine the fate of the Protheans, but now, considering the role of Shepard's 'Reapers' in it all. She massaged her temple, and reached for the cup of coffee near her. Human coffee, Liara thought, was the greatest thing invented.

Liara frowned at the datapads, trying not to think about how she had been working at research for almost eleven hours straight. Doctor Chakwas would not be amused, she thought- the doctor, knowing asari physiology well, was very _forceful_ about Liara taking better care of herself.

Just as Liara thought to take a small nap, or at least, rest her eyes, she heard the elevator hiss and footsteps rounding the corner. Liara wasn't in the mood to entertain company at the moment, despite how rude that felt to even _think_ , except perhaps if it were-

"Working late, Dr. T'soni?" Shepard said, sounding tired despite looking alert. Liara wondered if that was her natural state: ready. For what, Liara wasn't sure, but Shepard's military background was a hint. Liara tried not to blush at her previous train of thought- it was like the universe enjoyed watching her squirm. She was an asari scholar, for goddess' sake, not just some other blushing maiden.

So instead, Liara smiled wryly at the commander, who was pulling up a seat across her. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I've been trying to make sense of the Prothean data I collected from our- ah, the meld after Feros."

"Oh, I thought it was.. well, all roads point to Ilos, or something?"

"Yes, but now I'm connecting this to the rest of my research. I'm trying to create a more detailed study of this information." Liara looked askance at her datapads and tapped her fingers on the table. "I am still a Prothean scholar, it is just that the intensity of these last few missions have diverted me from my work."

"Oh," Shepard said, her brow furrowing. She looked to be considering something, and Liara waited. "I didn't know that. I'm sorry. Are the ground missions keeping you from your studies?"

"No! No." Liara stammered, cursing herself for constantly being struck dumb around people- especially Shepard. "No. That is not what I meant. While I do not enjoy being shot at, I enjoy being able to experience what I do on missions. I simply meant that I have been neglecting my work, in favor of throwing myself into this mission."

Shepard smiled, just a little. "Doctor, relax. I just meant that you don't have to go to the lesser ground missions if you want. The errands, basically, N7 missions." Liara pondered this as Shepard leaned back in her chair and seemed to relax, her smile turning into something almost playful. "But well, the rest of it.. now, _that's_ an important mission. Fate of the galaxy, and all."

Liara smiled back. There it was. For all her military stiffness on deck and on the ground, sometimes the commander would joke at odd times, and a whole other sort of smile seemed to grace her. Liara didn't know much about humans, but the commander threw her for a loop frequently.

"It is. I'm honored to be part of it, so please, don't apologise for that."

Shepard smiled a little more, her light brown eyes crinkling.

"Noted."

A comfortable silence settled over them, and Shepard reached over and leaned her arm closer to reach a datapad with something that caught her eye. While she read it over, Liara looked at the arm braced against the table.

It had always been something of interest, Shepard's tattoos. They were intricate, pictures of a pretty red flora of some sort, weaving together and ending abruptly at a thin black band that ran across Shepard's forearm.

She knew there was another, a drawing of a tree with initials that ran along the branches and decorated them like fruit. Liara wondered if there were more, any that she couldn't see, and then tried very hard not to let her mind wander any more- afraid to risk blushing in front of the commander.

So instead, Liara stared absently, her mind comparing the facial markings of asari to human tattoos. She had read about them, just a little, and the clearest answer she gathered for the meaning of human tattoos were personal significance.

Liara wondered what Shepard's tattoos meant. 

She was so lost in thought that she failed to notice Shepard looking up, catching her staring, and the soft blush that spread across the commander's face. By the time Liara thought to look back up at Shepard, the commander was already looking at her, looking uncharacteristically shy.

"Something wrong, doctor?" Shepard muttered, almost sounding embarrassed. Liara was ashamed to have been caught ogling her commanding officer, but also thinking of how- well- _cute_ Shepard could be when she looked like a maiden reprimanded.

Liara cleared her throat, pursed her lips, and prayed to the Goddess that she wouldn't accidentally insinuate dissecting Shepard- again.

"I was just curious," she began, uncertainly, "about your tattoos."

".. Oh."

"Yes," Liara continued. "Asari have tattoos too, but ours are facial markings received as.. well, rites of passage, I suppose, is the best way to explain it. My understanding of human tattoo ceremony is rudimentary, but I read that they are of significance, as well, just in a different sense."

Shepard rubbed her arm, fingers scratching the red tattoo. "You aren't wrong," she said after a moment.

"Human tattoos are, like.." Shepard began, her eyes unfocused, "Well. People can get them for any other reason, really. It's different across cultures on Earth, but where I'm from, they're usually just self-expression."

"Is that what yours is?" 

"Yes and no," Shepard said. She sucked in a breath and stretched, leaning back and not looking at Liara. "I know you've read my files."

That made Liara start, but she nodded all the same. They had already had this conversation before. 

"Yes, I have."

"Then you know about Akuze?"

At that, Shepard leaned forward again, the image of the Commander, her eyes ahead until they weren't- Shepard looked at Liara, a look in her eyes that Liara hadn't seen before. Liara shifted, trying to recall.

Akuze.

Liara rifled through her mental notes, before remembering with startling clarity: Akuze. A human colony in the Terminus, now going strong with a population of nearly eighty thousand and a monument to commemorate- Liara's brow furrowed- the search and rescue gone horribly wrong; a thresher maw attack; forty-nine people, dead. 

The statue- Liara looks at the commander again- the statue erected in 2176 to commemorate Lieutenant Alexandra Isabel Shepard, twenty-one, fresh N7 graduate: the sole survivor. 

To cement the loss, the cost of exploration, the grief that no doubt followed the commander wherever she went.

Liara couldn't help but think of the Commander, still young even by human standards, _only 21 for goddess' sake_ \- all that bloodshed and an entire unit, gone-

Shepard was still looking at her, her eyes never wavering from Liara as they sat together in silence. The only sound present was the silent hum of the ship, and Liara's own heartbeat in her ears.

"Yes," she said finally. "I know about.. Akuze. I'm sorry, commander."

Shepard's eyes softened, just a little. Her arm was braced against the table between them, and Liara found herself once again marvelling at the intricate colors and patterns adorning it.

"It must have been.. just.. awful. I have no words, Shepard. For you to endure what you have- I can't imagine it."

After a moment, Shepard sucked in a breath and exhaled, in the way Liara had noticed she did before she put on her helmet just before a ground mission.

"I appreciate that, but don't be. I've.. dealt with it." Shepard leaned back then, turning her arm over and looking at it with a gaze Liara could tell was for precious things, soft memories, things a datapad and extranet searches could never tell her about the commander. "The tattoos, here, they were my way of coping."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, look."

Shepard leaned closer to Liara then, close enough that the little scar cutting across Shepard's chin was clearly visible to Liara. It was covered by a green vine, crawling along the commander's arm. Then, Shepard started pulling up the sleeves of her casual dress shirt, rolling it up far enough that the rest of that too was visible- and, in Liara's opinion, a very well-muscled arm. She blushed, feeling the purple rush probably filling her cheeks, and cursed herself for being so goddess-damned _awkward_. In any case, though, she leaned closer too, telling herself it was all in the interest of hearing and seeing what the commander what to say and show her. Being in closer proximity to such a- well- attractive- person was just a coincidental extra.

"These scars- here- if you look closely enough- they're from Akuze. Stray bullet wounds, falling over. Stuff."

 _Stuff_. Stuff indeed. Liara knew from the reports that the commander- lieutenant then- herself had filed at the time that they were indeed from bullet wounds from when the the unit of forty-nine other fresh N7 graduates had tried to engage the thresher maw, that Shepard fell into a gorge trying to escape, and that she had traversed jagged rock just to get to safety.

Liara tried not to look strangely at the commander and _stuff_ , and instead, nodded. Shepard traced some smaller, vertical gashes and random patches of raised, pouting skin that decorated her shoulder and upper arm. There were enough that Liara belatedly worried about what had surely been a concerning amount of blood loss to a much younger Shepard. She nodded, instead.

"The tree here, with the branches outward and the initials hanging over them- these were the names of some of my unit. My friends." Shepard gestured to the fruit-like art on her arm, her voice clear and soft, and Liara was suddenly very aware that she was the only one in the room with the commander at the moment.

"And here-" Shepard said, moving to turn her arm over, and showing Liara a long, jagged scar that ran under twining green vines and some pretty red flora. Liara gaped at it- she knew that Shepard, a military officer, would have no shortage of scars- but still, seeing them up close was different. "This was- well. Unfortunate." She laughed, then, "This is where I got swiped by one of the bastard's legs when we were pushed back by it burrowing."

Liara gasped. Not many could survive being clawed by a thresher maw- the venom of their claws was slow-working, much less lethal than the one they could spit, but still potent and _painful_ in the system. She thought back to Shepard's experience on Akuze- two whole days she was dodging the thresher maw after the initial attack- so two whole days being near-death and in excruciating pain from her wound.

Shepard could have died- but she pushed through. More of the commander began to make sense, in a way, but Liara still felt like there could be more.

"Shepard, I- I truly don't know what to say." 

"It's okay, neither did a lot of the doctors attending back then." She laughed again, pointing a thumb at the med bay nearby. "The first thing one said to me after I was brought into a hospital was, 'well, you aren't dead, so that's a good sign'."

"That was actually how I met Dr. Chakwas," Shepard added, "She's been telling me how to take care of myself for a few years now, ever since."

Shepard smiled, looking a little older, somehow. Liara wondered if it was the conversation. She knew warriors could have faces like this- war weary and tired. Bone tired, the kind that seeped through the skin and settled into a person's soul. Shepard wore that face wonderfully well.

"The flowers are for my _abuela_ \- my grandmother." the commander said softly, her face immediately changing to something.. warmer, less rough around the edges. She pointed to the flowers around her arm, crossing dark green vines. "These are called _dahlia_ on Earth. They were her favorite."

"Oh," Liara breathed, "They're beautiful, Shepard."

Shepard smiled, appreciative. She took the time then to explain more tattoos to Liara, but the doctor noted that not all of them got an explanation. Perhaps, for another time. Liara sat, listening, as Shepard softly listed the tattoos that were visible and the scars that covered them. The Sol system's planets, lining her wrist in a simple design, covering dots of scars where a younger Shepard had fallen into a garbage chute on a space station. A cresting wave under Shepard's left upper arm, circling itself and closing the design, covering a burn where the commander, still a lieutenant at the time, had rested her hand on a hot exhaust line on a Hammerhead while on shore leave. Liara could only listen, as if under a spell, Shepard's eyes becoming her only focal point. There was so much she wanted to hear, so many ways she wanted to know about the commander.

And then, Liara, as if momentarily possessed or just unable to help herself, reached out for the commander, feeling the warm skin of Shepard's hand under her palm. Shepard stopped, quieting, her explanation about a tattoo of a small black cat covering a little scar on her shoulder dying in her suddenly dry throat.

 _Ah,_ Liara thought, her hand still softly resting on Shepard's hand, feeling a small ridge at the junction of her thumb and forefinger. _This is a scar, too._

Liara began to think of maps, smattering stars across space, not unlike the dots and patterns that decorated the commander's tan skin. Before she could think anything of it, Liara's hand begin to inch up. She was caught up in scientific curiously, gently feeling her way along the commander's arm, looking closely for any more scars she could have missed.

"Um," Shepard breathed, so quietly that Liara might have never heard it if she weren't inches away from the commander. "Doctor?"

Liara's head snapped up, woken from her odd moment.

"Goddess, I'm sorry-" Liara started, her hands flying away from the commander as if scalded by hot water. "Shepard, I- I don't know what came over me."

"That's," a cough, " That's okay, doctor. You looked.. really deep in thought."

"Yes, well, you're a formidable person, commander. I.. I was enthralled, I mean, not, not like that-" Goddess, she was _stammering_. Was she sixty again all of a sudden? Liara's face began to feel so hot that she worried Shepard could tell it was a darker blue than usual. "I simply meant, it was certainly an experience, getting to learn something like this about you."

"What do you mean?"

Shepard was still sitting close, her eyes trained on Liara's, her throat bobbing as she waited for her answer. Liara's heartbeat sped up, just a little, but enough to make her blush and look at her hands instead of the commander's intent hazel eyes. The commander truly was something else.

"Something the files don't tell me, is what I meant."

If Liara had been looking at Shepard after that answer, she would have seen Shepard's posture immediately relax, her eyes softening, a small smile starting to spread slow on her face.

Shepard got up, and Liara finally looked her way. The commander looked shy, a smile Liara couldn't place gracing her usually stern face. She elected to ignore her chest feeling tight and the unmistakeable sensation of a soft sort of embarrassment, instead choosing to focus on the sweet look on the commanding officer's face.

"Well, I hope you keep catching me in a sharing mood, then." Shepard said, moving around the table to leave, slowly. "Goodnight.. Liara."

"Goodnight, commander."

Shepard smiled again, then ducked out of the mess. Liara listened to the elevator door hiss closed, then finally, slid her face into her hands, and tried to get her frantic heartbeat under control.

 _Goddess_ , this was all sorts of inappropriate. She didn't know much about human military doctrine, but she had a feeling fraternization was on the list of actions discouraged.

Liara looked back at her coffee, finally feeling calmer. The commander was gone and the quiet returned, but she missed the sound of the commander's steady voice, telling her things she felt Shepard didn't usually share. It made her chest feel warm, and a small smile spread across her face.

Her datapads forgotten, Liara reached for her coffee instead. It was cold, but her fingertips where she had traced Shepard's beautiful tattoos- they were still warm.

**Author's Note:**

> IM SO SORRY i have no excuses for not updating except maybe some Real Shit that happened lol. anyway, a mass effect fic!! because mass effect has been ruinin my life lately. this is the first in a series about my shepard, alex, a paragon soldier and her gay adventures. probably less sex because alex is stiff and repressed and fun to poke at. if you liked it let me know!
> 
> (people waiting on fics i haven't updated yet: i havent forgotten u my babies i am sorry)


End file.
